I, a Catholic mom of three littles under five, lack two critical components needed for many sacraments: STILLNESS and SILENCE. So in this season as the primary caregiver of my littles without babysitting always available and causing a time or financial stress on my family, I struggle to participate in Adoration (resting in person with Jesus in the Eucharist), Confession (bringing my most vulnerable parts before Christ), and Mass (worshipping through liturgy and communion). Currently, I honestly don’t participate in Adoration (leaving the house without kiddos honestly does not occur regularly), my husband and I successfully manage three littles through mass (afterwards exhausted), and attend confession sporadically (trying for once a month often towing my littles) in .
A recent experience in this sacrament actually felt very scarring and illustrates the Catholic mom of littles struggling to remain faithful to their faith:
Have you ever left the confessional in tears?
A sacrament, a gift where you bring your burdens before Jesus and leave feeling the light freedom of grace freely and lovingly given.
I left crying, feeling nothing but condemned and defeated as a woman and mother.
I , with determined and dreaded gumption decided to drag my four year old, my two year old and my 2 month old baby- to the church for Wednesday night confession. We left early, to become one of the first of that evening, to avoid juggling three littles alone in a quiet and sacred space. My baby slept and my four year old patiently sat, but the two year old behaved the worst he ever has in a church. He proceeded to bang on the metal shield between me and the priest, and fuss about wanting more holy water. I struggled to grasp at him while already holding a baby. The priest proceeded to state, “You should discipline your children, maybe all your problems stem from not disciplining your kids.” Interesting conclusion after I confessed I often get angry and yell at my sons and how I get so frustrated managing three littles. So even with two out of three behaving well, I experience condemnation for my two year old struggling to behave in the confessional. Also, for not having the Act of Contrition memorized, me a convert, Catholic for only 5 years with major mom-brain, thanks to being in the 4th trimester of giving birth to my third child. Yes, I should discipline my kids more, and yes I should memorize the Act of Contrition. Luckily, by God’s good grace I held my tongue and did not reply, “ okay old celibate man, you try juggling three littles under five to confession and have them sit like statues.” The dagger to my soul happened when the priest stated, “Please leave and let in the next person, I have somewhere to be this evening.”
So, Catholic mommas especially primary care givers with littles, ideas for dealing with the lack of silence and stillness to participate in the sacraments:
BUDDY SYSTEM: exchange adoration and confession time with a friend. Take an hour and for 30 minutes watch her kids while she enjoys repose and then exchange for the final 30 minutes. This buys silence and stillness freely.
SOUND-FILLED SEASON: accept that holy hour may be sacred seconds and participating in sacraments may be louder and less frequent as desired. But prayer as we serve pleases God who gave us precious littles
OPEN To LIFE: a call to conviction that if the church ain’t crying it’s dying! That priest and parishioners welcome the fussiness of little ones during sacraments (except during Adoration of course) and supportive of faithful growing families by offering babysitting at church events and creating kid-friendly spaces. For if Catholic teaching tells couples to remain open to life, then churches must open their doors to that life.
Catholic moms trying to go to confession, to participate in the sacraments even in a not kid-friendly setting, God sees you and you are welcome- his graces extend past grumpy priest who judge tired mothers.
To Catholic moms dragging young ones to mass, despite the tears and glares of others in adjacent pews, the worship remains glorifying and the children purify the time with their presence even if others complain.
To Catholic moms longing for stillness and silence before Jesus in Adoration- He knows your desire and honors your yearning even if the restraints of being home prevent long periods with Him. Your service and stewardship of His little ones count.
For as
“Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.””
-Matthew 19:14
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