Ordo Amoris

""Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”And hesaid to him, "You shall love the Lord yourGod with all your heart and with all yoursoul and with all your mind. This is thegreat and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love yourneighbor as yourself. Onthese twocommandments depend all  the Law and the Prophets.”" - Matthew 22:36-40

   Thomas Aquanias recently retreading "Order of Love" phrase resonated as our family faced an impasse: stay in the home or start moving away from the home. For the last six years, we focused on investing in our little ones,  with me, their mother, remaining at home as the primary caregiver. With our youngest growing rapidly into a toddler talking and tolieting, an opportunity to start branching out from our home rather than continuing to rooting down deeper, grew into a positive possibility. In the same week, I received a job offer to teach at my eldest son's school (a dream career) and an ultrasound of a healthy fourth child.  Thus, the impasse- to stay in the home or to go out of the home again.

Logically we calculated the logistics and economic implications in our heads; yet I knew in my heart with the prospect of another little one, I desired to continue to root down home again. Even more surprisingly, when offered the perfect position and grade to utltize my gifts of teaching in a supportive and wonderful school, I felt peace about delaying my fleeing the nest lifestyle once again. My heart transformed by an openness to life gave me the insight that  this opportunity may come again, but the growth of my baby shall not, truly a once in a lifetime event. Also, to sacrifice the best circumstance of my own little one to invest in the development of others' children feels out of order. As a wife and mother, my priorities lie first with my husband, then children and lastly outside our home. Thus any job, hobby or friendship that hinders or hurts my flourishing as a wife and mother requires weeding to cultivate a fruitful family.

With such an ordo armoris, the sacrifice of ego and selfish ambitions proves countercultural. For our culture proclaims "find your happiness first" yet motherhood reveals the truth "my happiness is their happiness" thus "I am loved by loving well."  Therefore, for my own personal "ordo amoris", I first care for my home then venture out to care for others in my community.  Thus, my heart, body and mind desire time rooted in our home during the young and baby season.        

Seasons, and needs change over time and constant discernment must occur to stay aligned to your own correct "order of loves" resulted in peace and purpose.  So find your vocation, your voice and your vitality from rightly ordered loves.