“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”
1 Timothy 1:7
The most frustrating cultural insult I, as a middle class white female is being called a “Karen.” Defined in the no-way reliable Wikipedia: “Karen is a slang term typically used to refer to a middle-class white American woman who is perceived as entitled or excessively demanding. The term is often portrayed in memes depicting middle-class white women who "use their white and class privilege to demand their own way". So when used currently a woman called a “Karen” may argue with a flight attendant for an aisle seat on a plane or with a waiter about over-modifying a menu item such as asking for steak instead of chicken with no price changes. However, when incorrectly applied, the dreaded title “Karen” silences all middle class while women wanting to voice opinions. Since becoming a mom of three littles and turning thirty my “give-a-crap” about others’ opinions of me, gradually decreased into the negatives. This combined with a personality full of boldness, stubbornness and assertiveness results in direct unapologetic confrontation. With a husband to care for and children to protect, sometimes my momma bear claws come out when threats are perceived. Real-life examples:
Home Owners Association: when the previous HOA board declined installing,a playground, despite asking over two years, due to “lack of funds” and “insurance too costly” and then built an expensive pavilion without neighbor input, I joined the HOA board. Through walking the neighborhood and talking with actually homeowners, I got elected onto the board, provided a website to keep neighbors informed, and voted for then installed a playground for neighborhood use.
Ghosted? : When a member of previous board ignored phone calls and emails about handing over the key to the neighborhood bulletin board, I knocked on her door asking for the key back (ever received it). Apparently, she attempted to ghost me rather than admit she lost the key directly. To this day, her family walks the other way whenever they see me (to my utter amusement, like I am a pac-man going to gobble them up).
No-diapers sign: My latest “Karen” like momma-bear move involved a confrontation at our local library. The Woodstock Public library decided to laminate and stick up a sign stating “please take all used diapers with you.” Thus asking parents of babies and young children to not use the public trash facilities (true as pictured below):
Yes, a sign that irked me due to the anti-family rhetoric. So rather than ignore the sign and keep throwing away poopy diapers, I confronted my local librarians. I argued that in a public space designed for the use of children, the bathrooms also should reflect the needs of families (aka diapers being changed/ disposed of). The librarians profoundly stated that “diapers stink” and complained how janitorial staff comes only three times a week and that they don’t take out the trash everyday, (gross- serious sanitation concerns). So the next week with the signs remaining, and no alternative such as a diaper pail provided, I in true Karen fashion escalated by reaching out to library administration. After my email pointing out the anti-baby discrimination, the executive director, who was unaware of these signs, directed the Woodstock library to remove them.
So honestly, my heart is to help create welcoming to children places in my local community. Thus, rather than ignore or passively complain, I actively engage. I try to speak out kindly yet firmly, encouraging positive change. Does this make me a “Karen?” Possibly, yet I’d rather be a “Karen” than some passive quiet “Clare” ready to accommodate all without speaking out any complains for actual worthy causes. So for bold, outgoing and caring white middle-class women, may such voices ring loudly with courage and kindness despite the attempt to silence with the derogatory slur of “Karen.” So I will voice and fight even small battles for culture of life welcoming families especially in my own community.
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