“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”
Philippians 4:12
Baby fat, the description of my body since 2019, as I fluctuated between gaining and losing fifty extras pounds while caring and giving birth to three healthy 8 pound babies in five years. Though I appreciate how my body provides a vessel for life, I am tired of carrying 40 extra pounds after giving birth four months ago; as well as tired of the weight gain and weight loss , a dance that feels like endless twirling till I am dizzy with the turn-arounds. Though, active with toddlers, breastfeeding a baby, exercising and eating fairly well, I still struggle to lose those pounds.
Honestly, I also use food as reward, specifically chocolate, for the stress of motherhood. I never learned to eat small portions or to say no to desert. Even prior to having kids, I experienced seasons of chubbiness (143 pounds in 5th grade until I sprouted 4 inches one summer between 7th and 8th grade), and always straddled the overweight line on my growth charts. The flat stomach alluded me and I felt so self-conscious in a bikini (honestly who doesn’t? And I find such swim wear not flattering or practical especially which such great one pieces and tankinis available). When in college, after the freshman fifteen, my sophomore roommate stated something her mom taught, “eat smaller portion sizes.” The concept of eating less, so foreign I immediately dismissed it. Yet now, as someone who enjoyed overeating during pregnancy, the truth hits: the only way to true weight loss and a healthy relationship with food: EAT LESS.
So I am trying to learn to hunger and to let my stomach rumble without grumbling (I am traditionally a hangary person). This leads to freedom from gluttony, away from engorgement towards enjoyment. Fasting to create a greater appreciation for the fullness of God, the abundance of Him. A chance for a healthy less fat frame and a more beautiful soul as I seek to divorce from gluttony and marry gratitude as an attitude with my relationship with food. More self-control, eating the right amount to nourish my body that nourishes my littles. So now I nibble treats, eat a normal breakfast (smoothie two fried eggs), a light lunch (rice cake with peanut butter, a piece of fruit), a dark chocolate protein bar with nuts as a snack and a normal portion of food for dinner with plenty of green tea in between. Within a week I’ve already dropped several pounds and embrace the feeling of hunger. When my stomach growls I appreciate the upcoming meal so much more.
Furthermore, I desire to show my beautiful daughter how to enjoy food, not consumed by cravings nor the feel terrible about fat around her midsection. To nourish out of necessity not out of emotional want. To feel confident in the shape God gave her and not deal with crazy weight gain and losses. To be in shape and cherish her body as a temple of the Holy Spirit fearfully and wonderfully made. An example, a shift, a sacrifice, a women without excess weight to lightly follow her active littles.
So mammas struggling with postpartum weight loss, your beautiful body bore life and shall forever retain scars like Christ after the crucifixion- and your precious self deserves to be fed well, and nourished healthily not burdened by the despair of gluttony.
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