Now in the mommy club stage of life for the rest of my days- I frequently listen to mommy podcast and read mommy books and articles. I digest my daily dose of “Parents Magazine” articles that pop up the media folder of my inbox. With such an influx of information of contrasting viewpoints, the truth rings out: trends change, parenting comes in 50 shades of gray, and with those darker shades I am sure will mess up my child somehow! So here are some of the lies and truths I’ve experienced... I dare you to discover your own...:
LIE: “your child will not sleep through the night before 3 months old, so not even bother trying” (from a parenting article)
TRUTH: Since birth my soon slept at least 4 hours without prompting. By letting him “cry it out” and schedule feeding him- he sleeps an average of 6 hours straight. And with the pacifier, he makes it another 2 hours for a full night of sleep for mommy. Then for his first morning feeding he gets a feast.
LIE: “pacifiers are for lazy mothers who don’t want to find out what is really wrong with a child, so put a pacifier in his mouth to quiet him.” (From a parenting book)
TRUTH: My son suckled his arm in the womb. He uses the pacifier as a form of comfort- when he is unsure about riding in the stroller, upset waiting a few minutes until the next feeding time or just needing a few suckles before sleeping in his crib. I know why he uses the pacificer and what bothers him- I am just giving him an outlet for his natural tendencies. The dreaded alternative that my mother did for me (I was a huge sucker as a baby!) let him live on my nipple (ouch!). So out of love for my son’s nature we permit pacifier usage.
LIE: “Children, especially under the age of five will cause stress and distance in your marriage- its hard to love both your child and husband.” (From a podcast)
TRUTH: Though spending my days with our infant son is absolutely exhausting and our quality time together mostly revolves around the baby, watching my hubby make faces at our son, pause during his workday to kiss our son and check up on me, and cuddle him to his chest during his fussiest evening moments, stirs a deeper intimacy with him. Another depth of loving my man- as a person, husband and now father. I know that I am exceptionally spoiled with a husband who works from home and loves babies. Regardless, babies are the product of our love- so I love my husband more so for that reason.
LIE: “mothers should stay home with a child for the first six years. Mothers who want to go back to work do not value motherhood as the greatest role on the earth.” (from a baby book)
TRUTH: I want to go back to work, not because I don’t value motherhood but because I truely believe that I will provide for my family. Teaching preschool in a Christian environment opens the door for me to see my son daily, provide finiancially for our family, and serve other parents desiring a home away from home for their children as well. I view my job as a vocation to be a mother to my child while providing motherly love to other children. Also, nursery school provides a community following the old saying, “-It takes a village to raise a child,” and I am discovering my daily village.
LIE: “Taking the time to do your make-up, take a bath or shave shows vain and selfish behavior that steals more worth worthy endeavors such as cleaning and taking care of your son.” (From my own internal mom-guilt/ insecurities)
TRUTH: Taking a few minutes to ease myself into feeling healthy and beautiful, refreshes me to become a more patient and loving mother. My son will survive without attachment issues if he is crying a bit because I am finishing blow-drying my hair before the next feeding time. Although vainity is a deadly sin, complete neglect shows the opposite of love.
Truth in motherhood is relative- the truth about one child may not be true about another. So I dare you to discover your truths- by grounding yourself in the fundamental truth: with observance and patience you are doing an excellent job. So don’t worry about “right” and “wrong” and ground your troubles mommy heart in this absolute truth “above all love one another deeply, because love covera a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).
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