The struggle is real. The caption for repeated picture of a mother displayed on social media: messy bun, dark circles under her eyes, yoga pants, wrinkled t-shirt, a baby in her arms, and a toddler clinging to her leg. She looks like a war-survivor or a hung-over college student late for class. Now, every once in a while when momma or baby is sick, or having an off day, this battered appearance makes sense. However, for mommas of young children, this is the expected norm. The attitude behind the appearance I find most concerning: I am in survival mode and mothering is hard! This look and persona is even praised as “real”, and “relatable.” In fact, a showered, well-rested, and dressed in business casual with mascara on momma might even be judged as “putting on an appearance.” But what if we treated motherhood as a job with the attitude of purposeful thriving in a new challenging role? Would you trust your child with this stereotypical frazzled- longing women With the belief- my life is out of control?
Now, I am a rookie momma who has it pretty easy. My only child is seven months old, sleeps and eats well. Furthermore, I am a stay-at-home mother with a husband who works from home. Thus, during my baby’s naptime, I can leave the house to work-out or go to an appointment. Though I am new to the game with an ideal situation, I feel myself thriving and not just surviving. The main reason is intentionality with my daily schedule to balance working, playing, and relaxing.
My my schedule is as follows (though pushed back an hour currently to adjust for the upcoming daylight savings time).
7:00am: wake up and get dressed
7:30am: breastfeed baby
7:45am: light morning chores (start a load of laundry
8:00am: feed baby solids
8:30am-9:00am: morning chores, baby digest in standing toy (make bed daily, choose chore: clean kitchen counters, swept kitchen floor, or swept porch)
9:00am-9:30am: playtime in baby playroom on the top floor, momma journals bible verses and does morning stretch and ab workout
9:40am-10:15am: morning walk around the neighborhood or adventure time (grocery shopping, bank, etc)
10:20am-10:40am: playtime in baby playroom
10:45am: breastfeed baby
11:00am- 1:45pm: baby naptime, momma chore time
chores (once a week):
vacuum living room/ kitchen
clean bathrooms
work out- go swimming
make baby food
check emails, pay bills
extra clean project: i.e organize a closet, or vacuuming the upstairs
extra joy project: i.e writing children books, art projects
2:00pm: breastfeed baby
2:15pm-2:45pm: make lunch , feed baby solids
3:00pm-4:00pm: afternoon chores, baby plays nearby as momma works (i.e fold laundry and put it away, go grocery shopping, clean baby’s bedroom)
4:00pm-4:45pm: go for an afternoon walk around the block (momma listens to a podcast and collects and sorts the mail)
5:00pm-5:30pm: play with baby in playroom (momma watercolors or draws)
5:40pm: breastfed baby
6:00pm: start cooking dinner (husband will finish)
6:30pm: fed baby solids, eat dinner
7:15pm: clean up from dinner, bathe baby
7:45pm: breastfeed baby and put to bed
8:00pm-9:00pm: hang out with hubby (i.e. watch a t.v show, do a crossword puzzle or back massages)
9:00pm-10:00pm shower and go to bed
Note: this schedule is obviously idealized- life happens, and sometimes an errand runs longer or I might be at a moms group or playdate in the morning. Heck! Every once (Okay more frequently than I would like)I stay up binge watching a t.v. show reading a book.
The attitude behind the schedule is most important: motherhood is hard but all good things are hard-earned. So daily, I seek to thrive by laying out a plan of what is important to me: looking and smelling decent, journaling, eating nutritious meals, going outside, art projects, playing with baby and keeping a clean home.
I view my motherhood as a job that I desire to succeed in and a career I want to grow into. I keep all work-heavy tasks between 9 to 5 and work on downtime in the evening. Instead of spending my downtime on social media, which sometimes I am guilty of doing, I read parenting articles or listen to momma podcasts as “professional development.” Thus, instead of a victim of hard profession mothering, I view myself as God’s employee with hard responsibilities of stewarding His home and His child with joyful diligence. In motherhood, the fruit of the Spirit of self-control is vital in this season.
So the picture of motherhood to show up as daily: hair clean or at least stylized, wearing yoga pants with a tunic shirt, wearing light makeup, and mostly rested she unloads a dishwasher while her baby plays nearby as she chats with a friend coordinating a time to meet up or sharing the little daily joys of her baby starting to pull-up on furniture or starting to say, “ma-ma.” She is a hardworking, and caring person, learning to thrive and not survive in her newfound role.
Each momma story is different- situations may be more difficult- but I challenge you mommas to move from gripe to gratitude- hard since this time in our lives is hard.
Like budgeting every dollar yields finicial peace, so scheduling every hour reaps joy. After all, time is a precious commodity, so intentionally to bring about household harmony.
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