Jesus said to the crowds: This is how it is with the kingdom of God;it is as if a man were to scatter seed on the land and would sleep and rise night and day and through it all the seed would sprout and grow, he knows not how. Of its own accord the land yields fruit, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. And when the grain is ripe, he wields the sickle at once, for the harvest has come.”
- Mark 4: 26-30
A framed cross-stitch picture completed by my mother’s sister and hung in my child hood bathroom read: “who plants a seed beneath the sod and waits to see believes in God.” Jesus frequently told parables (aka spiritual allegorical stories) about farming. So much so, he might as well be called the Good Farmer as well as the Good Shepherd. The process of growing seeds perfectly captures the calling of motherhood: cultivating our small ones into flourishing crops. My purpose as a mother: sowing seeds in the soil of our children’s little souls and tending the fields of their lives. So, I seek to implant three value into my sons (a two year old and an about to be born in August year old). The poet in me demanded alliteration so these values start with “C” for our surname “Couture”.
1. Clever: where curiosity, observations and wondering, meets creativity, the process of beautifully and uniquely solving problems.
Why?
I desire independent thought and problem solving skills in my children. Critical thinkers listen to others and use their own minds to discern the truth not just influenced by popular opinion. In a world of social media influences, self-assured thought becomes more and more necessary.
How to Cultivate
Allow boredom and frustration. Since about eight months, my son routinely plays independently for about two hours a day choosing his toys and adventures from lego building to rock throwing in the back yard. When he struggles to fit toys together, or gets stuck in his toy car (with no real injury or high risk situation), I hesitate to help despite his cries to allow him to become more self-reliant by solving his own problems.
2. Compassionate : to love your neighbor as yourself.
Why?
I desire humility and empathy not egotism and pride to define my children’s’ hearts and actions. To know that this world is not about them and be considerate of the emotions and needs of others, creates caring adults who lack entitlement and count blessings instead.
How to Cultivate
In books, playing with others, and expressing himself, I encourage emotionally reading such as stating, “She is sad”, “You are mad” or “ Mommy is happy, are you happy?” When he hits, I state, “That hurts mommy, mommy is sad.” When he hugs or pats my hair, I say, “Thank you Matthew for the loves. Mommy is happy!” Hearing and seeing how his actions affect the feelings of others encourages empathy. I also encourage sharing and patience stating, “Mommy has some tea then Matthew” or “After mommy unloads the dishwasher, she will give you granola/ play with you.” The waiting encourages patience over instant gratification and relays the message, “You matter in this world but you are not the whole world, others matter too.” My husband excels at modeling compassion by helping neighbors move large items or fix fire-alarms or even internet connections. We often invite neighbors over for dinner, that my son even starts stating, “Eat at our house?” when I am asking a neighbor about his/her life. Open arms and open doors, we have become the go to family for home projects, dog/child care. Thus literally loving our neighbors.
3. Courageous- Fear said in prayer and fully surrendered to God so that a peace that surpasses understanding defines the pain and difficulties in this life.
Why?
Since “in this life we will have trouble”, courage, facing scary stuff with trust in God stays essential. I desire my children to live in peace, not fear, courageously.
How to Cultivate
I strive to model surrendering pain in prayer such as when I feel those Braxton-Hicks contractions and state, “Mommy is hurting with baby Tristan right now and is scared but she trust in Jesus to carry her through the pain.” Also, when something such as frog sounds or thunder frightens my toddler, I encourage him to listen stating, “ the frogs are saying hello” or “God’s angels are banging above” encouraging him to stay rather than run from unknown loud sounds. Furthermore, allowing space for my son to explore- climbing, sliding, and swimming (with floats) on his own within eyesight but not always arm’s length. My confidence in my son’s ability inspired a brave boy who easily explores playgrounds and jumps in pools.
The Coutures: a clever, compassionate and courageous family!
Happy Farming, sowing seeds of value in the souls of your children!
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