“Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour.” - Matthew 25:13
Life and Death, beginning and end, the two truths of the mortal existence. Vast, large, unknown, as comfortable as floating into space or sinking into the darkest depths of the ocean… yes with ancient studies and modern technology humanity revealed the tip of truth into the reality of our numbered days. Yet, how we thrive in the in between times, the simple nitty-gritty of floor-sweeping, booger wiping, and tantrum calming (okay if you the parent and primary care-taker of small humans). At 35 weeks pregnant with our second son and the 2nd anniversary of my older sister’s passing (Carolyn Louise Tye July 15, 2019), thoughts about life and death weigh on my mind and heart. For when new life arrives, the process of going into natural labor, much like an unexpected death reveals this universal truth: YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL. Thus, my anxious thoughts and fearful heart rest in deeper surrender.
ALPHA LIFE: Life comes unexpectedly. Though the due date of Saturday August 21, 2021 seems like a solid predication, only a mere 4% of babies arrive on their expected day. An easy first labor, non-medicated vaginal delivery with four hours of contractions and less then 30 minutes of pushing, foreshadows an even quicker and faster second delivery, right? My medical team seems to think so, as a rather quirky OBGYN stated, “you were born for breeding!” Yet, the day, time, hour, position (breeched or head-down ready), and condition of baby remains completely outside of the momma’s control.
Surrender my body to the pain of opening up to allow life to flow through me, accepting if that birth occurs not as ideally (as a caesarean) or as immediately as desired. I fully accept the challenge of recovery and adjustment to another little soul from God shall (give myself into the chaos of a 90 day grace period). Moreover, my blessed assurance soothing the fears of protecting our fragile infant, He who breathed life into the form of my womb shall sustain every one of my son’s outside of me. The Creator begins, nourishes and completes life, “I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” -Philippians 1:6
OMEGA DEATH: My sister’s soul sits serenely in the palms of the Almighty and Merciful God. Whether cleansed in purgatory or already purified in perfect peace before the throne, she rests security and wholly. Though, the tears of such a sorrowful death by suicide linger, and the tormented fear of losing my mind and abandoned by God stifle faith sometimes, true hope does not disappoint. For hope, the anchor to the soul and the “ big picture” means, “the theological virtue by which we desire the kingdom of heaven and eternal life as our happiness, placing our trust in Christ’s promises and relying not on our own strength, but on the help of the grace of the Holy Spirit.” -(Catechism 1817)
So I hope for Home, and I surrender my mind and children’s minds (as mental disorders and suicide seem to trend in families) to purpose of reaching for the hope of Heaven, “for I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” -Romans 8:38-39
So when the inevitable book-ends of life and death draw closer in your personal experiences, may you dare to peer over the edge finding your hope, the truth to reach for, a beautiful vast landscape on the horizon.
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”- 2 Timothy 2:17
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