It takes 66 days to form a habit- a little over two months. That’s why little gadgets like air pumps and electric razors come with a ”60 day warranty or your money back guarenttee“, so that by then you’ve formed an attached habit to that simple object. Furthermore, this explains why companies undergo a 90 day trial period prior to a newly hired employee qualifying for benefits and a more permanent position, because by then he or she should demonstrate mastery and competence beyond the initial learning curb. Well, now with my little man’s 60 day warranty expired and I, his momma, am still in the 90 day trial period, I breathe In a sigh of relief as we begin to work together harmoniously!
What if hospitals included a 60 day warranty on each baby’s birthday tag? Not a return policy of course- but more like a “return to readjust.” Like, if your baby is colicky (cries for 3 hours straight for 3 or more weeks), you can go back to the hospital for a 3 night stay where a team of nurses and doctors help figure out a gameplan to address your baby’s fussiness Or if you struggle to breastfeed and your poor baby spits up multiple formulas, a team of lactation consultants and allergist come togther to formulate a feeding plan to help your baby. Or even just a one night stay to catch up on sleep for a momma whose baby wakes up every 2-3 hours day and night. All these services are free of charge as part of the “you pushed out a baby and it takes a village“ policy.
All serious mom-struggles aside, as my baby turns 2 months old, I am celebrating that he passed his 60 day warranty, no readjustments necessary! My son now sleeps an average of 6 hours a night continuously, stays on a 5 time a day eating and two nao schedule regularly. Furthermore, he is starting to make noises almost just as much as his fussing time. So I’m sold - no money back needed for this priceless child!
As a new momma, I’m 2/3rds through my 90 day trail period. But, in these habit forming days, a glorious realization occurred: I’m head over heals in love with my son and I am actually capable of being a mother. My skills in reading my son’s moods (when to change him to a more comfortable position or offer a pacifier to help suckle comfort), breastfeeding, and keeping a consistent schedule (including a developmentally growing playtime) have drastically improved habitually over the last month. However, on a particular moment I deeply fell in love with my baby.
On a Saturday night, my husband and I hosted some friends over for board games. The gracious couples drove all the way to our area for some hardcore complicated board games (that evening’s challenge was a haunted house survival). With such an intricate game, the hours continued into my baby’s bedtime rountine, so I bowed out early to feed and tuck in my baby boy. As I fed him upstairs by myself (a trial for an extrovert who misses hanging out with friends in my newfound home bound life) I recalled how calm he remained in my friends arms, fussing for a few minutes and I realized that I wanted to take care of him more than anything else in the world. That night, I realized caring for my baby topped all of my desires, even for fun times with dear friends. Years ago, I discovered that love looks like missing that person in your most beauitful moments (my epiphany that I wanted to marry my husband occurred on a boat in Thailand looking out at the blue sky touching the blue sea and I felt so carelessly free but yet missed my man). So at a delightful moment of an adult play date in my baby centered life, I felt absolute contentment being isolated with my son in our little breastfeeding world. Since that night, I feel like a lovesick teenager. My favorite sound is his eager babbling noises. My favorite sight is his blue eyes piercing into mine. My favorite touch is his little fingers wrapped around my thumb. The time of mourning my own freedom ceased and I am embracing motherhood, though I need my full 90 days to adjust still.
Loving my son is like gardening- planted on day one and grows over time watered by baby tears and nurtured by sunshine smiles. And by God’s good grace my son will flourish into a mighty oak.
Your words express your feelings so beautifully.