All types of tears washed over last weekend like a 48 hour manifesto of the motherhood rapids riding experience (otherwise know as matresence- the adolescent-like transition of adapting to motherhood).
TEARS of SADNESS:
Last Friday my baby boy received his first vaccinations so graciously... I naively believed that the worst ended after the nurses stuck the crying fella with needles in his cute little ham thighs. The doctor causally reassured us that some fussiness and a slight fever might occur. We drive home hauling our lil hero and rewarding him with a delicioumomma’s breast milk lunch. Several hours latter, my cooing and smiling baby turns into a fussy monster wailing in pain. Unable to nap, he demanded constant soothing (held, patted and pacifier suckled) His external tears showed my internal torment witnessing my precious boy in pain. Constantly, I reminded myself that we optiated for shots to make him stronger as he writhed in agony.
TISSUE to dry up my baby’s tears the proper dose( based on your baby’s weight not age) of infant Tylenol ever 4 hours for up to 5 doses in a 24 hour period. For his 4 month next round of vaccines we will administer medicine to ease the fever and pain right after!
TEARS of RAGE:
With a frequent crier, tensions rise between spouses heated by the eruption of baby screams. So, I tired of holding Mr. Fussy Pants, snapped at my husband enjoying icecream and a baseball game while I sat annoyed by my inability to clean our house in preparation for a baptismal reception the next day. My hubby expressed his frustration at my impatience since he intended to clean up the kitchen. So I cried, he banged dishes and cussed; I cried some more. I felt frustrated that my husband didn’t really seem to understand me- whose hormones changed me since giving birth- and all those emotions causing extra sensitivity.
TISSUE: to dry up angry tears, accept that relationships ebb and flow after major changes. Therefore, I must focus on paddling with and not against my partner or we will just turn into a whirlpool of circles. (More on how to focus on the hunby by focusing on caring for rather than competing with in a later blog post)
TEARS of JOY:
Saturday we robbed our firstborn in a family baptismal gown which transformed him into an Amish child, and witnessed his head being sprinkled by a seashell in the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. As the same priest who married us blessed us as parents, my eyes swelled with tears. This is what was missing- support from the Church, spiritual refreshment to the daily pouring of myself (both metaphoricially with my heart and literal with my boobs). Then, my proud momma heart enjoyed watching family and friends dote on our now Son of the Church. “This day is more important then his birthday,” exclaimed Father Peter Hopkins, “because this day he is redeemed from original sin.” I placed my anointed son into his own room and crib for the first time that night, wit’s a madonna and child watching his breaths.
NO TISSUE NEEDED: Regardless of your religious belief or affiliation, every momma needs a support encircling her isolated world of being a mother. A strong grip on the Divine steadies the sweeping emotional, physical and mental current of carrying the most vulnerable being on earth.
So whatever kind of tears flood your motherhood during a week, several days or even just several hours, I hope and pray that a community which makes you stronger is there to wipe every tear from your eye and cry with you!
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