Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” - Proverbs 4:23
Bold. Loud. Talkative. Friendly. Open. Welcoming. Adjectives that describe my greatest assets and greatest fault: my vulnerability. Wearing my heart on my sleeve, I often got trampled on, as I openly state my opinions unashamedly and ask questions candidly. Hot topics such as politics, social issues, intimacy, beliefs and personal ailments, I enjoy speaking about rather than safer and noncontroversial topics such as weather, future plans and favorite foods. However, such a bold intense personality, especially for non-confrontational individuals uncomfortable with discussing challenging topics, may be off-putting.
“Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.” -Matthew 7:6
Recently, I learned of a past betrayal, in which several years ago, I “over shared” in a setting I believed a safe space to speak. However, something I said created discomfort with another participant who decided to consult the leader of this group rather than confront me. I, blissfully unaware of these grievances, believed I bonded by sharing myself and welcoming others to do the same. For my naive default mentality believes the best in others and desires all thoughts welcomed without judgement. As a spiritual person wisely pointed out- I lack the gift of prudence.
“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;” James 1:19
Prudence , according to the Catechism of the Catholic Church (1806), means “the virtue that disposes practical reason to discern our true good in every circumstance and to choose the right means of achieving it.” Thus, prudence in taming the tongue means much like the Miranda rights “you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in court.” So in choosing to carefully curate the tender parts of me prudently with protection, I shall say a lot too a little, love all from afar and love a few more intimately near me and build trust over time rather, than trying to impatiently quicken the process.
Hard life lessons- learned that even supposedly sacred spaces lack safety; therefore only the love of God stays unconditional and unfailing.
So shall the gift of prudence grow in silence, listening to the sweet song of fully seen, fully known and fully loved from my Savior who looks and sees my heart hidden safely in my chest.
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