Death Dirge

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

-Romans 14:8

In the middle of this southern summer, the humid heat soaks shirts in sticky sweat before lunchtime and then sudden fierce thunderstorms  showers  you in the later afternoon. Such strange yet natural circumstances externally mirrors my own uncomfortable mediations internally, as I contemplate death this July, a month of momento mori.   About seven days ago, my grandmother Marylyn Bullock, at aged 95,  passed peacefully in her sleep on July 7, 2026.  About seven years ago, my older sister Carolyn Tye took her own life at age 27 on July 15, 2019.  The contrast of the death's grasp snatched such souls away into the great chasm, like the July southern weather, soaks me differently.   

    The death of my grandmother, the last living grandparent of mine, feels like summer humidity, uncomfortable yet expected during this time of year. By God's perfect timing, my family and I trekked up to Tennessee to visit her the week prior to her passing. Thus, my children including our latest daughter, all saw and kissed their great-grandmother. Though death stays an unnatural force brought upon earth by sin separating us from our immortal God, death from old age eases ones into the process. Bedridden, with limbs retaining fluid, hardly eating and sleeping most of the night and day, my grandmother prepared to let go of this mortal earth. Much like the end of the third trimester when the baby fully cooked kicks vigorously and the pregnant woman's belly swells so large  and heavy, the mother prays for the relief of labor and the release of the discomfort. As scary as giving birth or dying is, God provides pain to prepare the body for the birth and rebirthing processes. Thus, the mourning of an elderly person,  easier to let go to God.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end."

• Ecclesiastes 3:11

The death of my older sister, though already seven years ago, feels like a sudden summer storm, fierce, powerfully passionate and utterly soaking. For when one loses a loved one so young and unexpectantly, especially in a violent manner, death feels like a thief not a friend. Therefore at the loss of my older sister,  I feel stolen from, as the possible memories with my sister, my children's aunt  only of my four children.  So, still, when grief comes so intensely, I go through the storm feeling, letting go until the sunshine steams my skin again.

“'Where, O death, is your victory?

   Where, O death, is your sting?'

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

• 1 Corinthians 15:55-57

So facing death of loved ones, like summer sweat, removes the toxins from within allowing us to thirst for the hope of heaven, our eternal home, refreshing our souls once again.