“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”- Romans 12:15
THE VERBS
Saint Paul chooses the verbs “rejoice” and “mourn” in a compound sentence as if he witnessed me smiling with my three month old one moment then yelling at my tantrum throwing two-year old the next. The amazingly beautiful and beyond challenging mess of motherhood, often gives me mood swings as I try to regulate emotions in both pleasant and difficult situations daily. Despite recognizing my own privileged situation of being a stay-at-home mom, I often feel stressed by
the demands of feeding, bathing, cleaning (poopy butts and diapers) and giving attention to my toddler and baby. Plus the desire for a clean home, a smooth schedule and a balanced me time often turns into a desperate grasp for control manifested in a snappy attitude. Yes, I am working towards becoming more relaxed and flexible, yet the constant daily demands of motherhood, especially as the primary caregiver sometimes feels so depleting. So daily I rejoice in baby giggles and a toddler proudly singing his ABCs; and I mourn as one toddler whines as the baby wails (a daily difficult minute right before lunch and nap).
THE PREPOSITION
In Romans, Paul includes the critical preposition “with.” With the aid of my neighbor/friend on a biweekly and my husband on the daily, I am able to care for my sons’ playing, eating and bathing needs. Also, talking with other moms, especially beautiful women of faith sustain my sanity by stating, “Me too” and “I’ve been there.” For example, only by talking with a neighbor and mom friend, I felt like a less horrible mother for locking my toddler our screen porch (within visible sight and frequent open the door to check on him) after my toddler’s full-blown tantrum, the third one in two days, because I washed his hands rather than let him “jump off the stool with sticky fingers.” By her reassurance that tantrums are normal and that she admires my frequent patience with my two-year old, I began to heal and reevaluate my approach to an opinionated little man.
THE SENTENCE
In mom friendships, I am learning to “rejoice” and “mourn” with, rather than against, other moms. Comparison corrodes my relationships, as I feel guilty of my “easy” situation with kids who nap at the same time, a baby that sleeps seven hours straight at night, my success with breastfeeding, easy conception and pregnancies, and quick labors for both my children. Yet, then I also covet other mothers’ thinner physiques, more obedient toddlers and even sometimes adorable baby girls. With such a competitive mindset, I hesitate to share my joys thinking only sorrows seem relatable. Oh, how Paul paints a perfect picture of community- to “rejoice with” and to “mourn with”. So, I refuse to hold back the easy and choose to honor both the beauty and the mess in motherhood.
So mommas, are you rejoicing? Yes, I am here to cheer you on!
Are you mourning? I weep with you and encourage the hope “that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion” (Philippians 1:6). Here I am with, not against you, sharing my daily trials and smiles. May we live out Romans 12:15.
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