Abundant Tiredness

"For to the one who has, more will be given, and he will have an abundance, but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away."

• Matthew 13:12

ABUNDANCE. Much to do in the Couture household blessed with three thriving littles under five. The eldest started his first week of preschool, the middle son started potty training and the youngest daughter still in the fourth trimester of existence. A strict daily schedule to follow to allocate time to get to school and soccer practice for the older while still effectively feeding and resting the younger two. Plus with birthdays to celebrate, baptism, and holidays on almost every weekend until the end of 2023, so overflowing with abundant life in this season as a stay-at-home-mom of littles.

TIREDNESS: Much to do with less sleep, though our sweet baby girl allows about six straight hours to her dear mother, her older brothers require constant stimulation- much outdoor playing and activity from dawn to dusk. The endless energy, outpouring to keep up with three, while also trying to keep up with endless dishes, laundry, butt wiping and cleaning off sticky surfaces feels so exhausting. Exasperated by the postpartum healing as minor bleeding continues (not a concern according to my OBGYN) and the baby fat lingers. A weariness as I, the mother of three now, give my body, my emotions and my mind to try and keep up with the littles while shelving the dreams of being a published paid writer and may even podcasting as a outlet to give others a little laugh and a some light, I lack energy as I adjust.

BOTH/ AND: For in this “best of times” and “worst of times” season, I am okay with waiting, dreaming and attempting to rest with giving myself grace in this season. A pre-plan for my dreams as I rest in my purpose of motherhood. Though if I am truly honest, I look forward to another season when my children are older and I exchange the physical weariness for a mental exhaustion worrying about them in a hostile world. Yet, in motherhood, particularly in these early stages of babies and toddlers both tickles and tantrums coincide within even the same minute. So I open my body, mind and heart entirely embracing the abundance and the tiredness.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”

- Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities